


while i threw your shit in the fireplace

by softbrio



Series: while i threw your shit in the fireplace [1]
Category: Good Girls (TV)
Genre: Anxiety, F/M, Post Season 2, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, beth being a badass
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:47:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28181157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softbrio/pseuds/softbrio
Summary: post season 2.“she couldn’t decide if she loves him or hates him. she never could. because right now she really fucking hates him.”
Relationships: Beth Boland/Rio
Series: while i threw your shit in the fireplace [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2069019
Comments: 6
Kudos: 45





	while i threw your shit in the fireplace

**Author's Note:**

> this is a note to listen to one whole day by dixie d’amelio (i’m sorry, just trust me) while reading this because it adds ✨spice✨
> 
> Also i’m adding a trigger warning here for people w EDs. a part of this story might be a trigger. It’s only a small part where i mention something and never touch on it again, so it’s completely fine to skip over that part if you need to !!

The walk home that day was long. Unusually long. It seemed like step after step, street after street, and block after block. And pain— physically and mentally. It’s not every day that you shoot someone you sleep with in the chest three times. And she still couldn’t believe that’s what had happened. He would have been proud of her if it was someone else, like it was supposed to be. The sound of the gunshots were ringing in both of her ears, and it seemed like they were getting louder with every step she took. Like some impending doom was being bestowed upon her.

But that’s not the point of this story. 

* * *

Every day felt like one repeating loop for Beth. But the pain she had from shooting Rio was still there. In fact, it was the only constant in her life, like Dean once was. It kept her up at night, the nightmares of that day replaying in her head. And it would always end with that first bullet, which would leave her jumping up and gasping for air, as Dean would rush in concerned. Why did she ever agree to let him stay? 

She had shut Annie and Ruby completely out. It’s been weeks since they were in the house learning about their new plan. Ruby still calls every day, and Annie has tried showing up, but never has any luck. Part of Beth feels guilty, and sorry for her kids. But then again, at least Dean’s doing something for a change. Jane sometimes climbs in her bed after school or at night because she misses her mom, especially the way she used to be. 

“Hey,” Beth heard faintly. She knew it was Dean, but a small, small, part of her really wanted it to be Rio. She rolled over to her other side to face him standing in the doorway. 

“When’s the last time you ate?” he began. “Or showered? Or, even got up,”. It was really a surprise that Dean was so concerned. Maybe it was all an act to stay. 

“I have a bottle of bourbon in here. And I had ice cream last night,” she replied. 

“Beth, real food. You’re going to make yourself sick,” She really didn’t know why she wasn’t eating. Maybe starving herself was almost like a punishment for what she did. 

“I’m completely fine,” she told him. Dean crossed his arms, not knowing what to do. Usually he’s the stubborn one. 

“This is your version of fine?”

”Dean. I said, I’m fine,” Beth snapped at him, choking up by the end of her sentence. There was silence for a moment, as she tried to hold back tears.

”Beth I’m s-” Dean started. 

“I don’t want to hear it. I can’t hear it. Not right now,” she told him. It had been four weeks since she walked home, traumatized. The anxiety of not knowing what to do, or not knowing if Turner was going to show back up wrestled in her mind every single day. What if Rio was still alive? What if he comes back to get her? _He_ was her problem. And he put it all on _her._

Beth had made her way out towards the driveway, something she hadn’t been able to do since everything happened. It had been hours after Dean had checked on her, and she didn’t want to admit that he was right, that she hadn’t gotten up in a long time. She opened the door to the drivers side, bracing herself for anything that could happen. Closing the door, she just sat there for a minute. Maybe it was good for her to get out the house for the first time in weeks, and maybe it was almost therapeutic. She took a deep breath, trying to calm her racing heart down and also to get rid of the sick feeling in her stomach. And next thing you know, the silver van was backing up, and racing down the street. 

* * *

She sat in the parking lot for a couple minutes, not even sure what to do. The sound of cars whizzing by in the background. There was no one around, considering it was almost 1 a.m. The water dripping seemed to get louder with every step she was taking, the cold Detroit air blowing in her face, and the hall echoing like instruments in a giant room. She still had the keys— the keys to the kingdom, as he called it.

Beth unlocked the door to the storage unit, throwing it open to reveal all of his stuff from the apartment still in there. She kind of stood there for a minute, like it was all kicking in. Like she was coming to terms with the fact that he was actually gone. The corner of her eye caught a baseball bat, propped up against the wall. It started to gravitate towards her hand, and next thing you knew, she had it.

Taking a breath, she lifted the bat above her head. Flashbacks of destroying Dean’s office rushing through her mind. She couldn’t decide if she wanted to actually do this. She couldn’t decide if she loves him or hates him. She never could. Because right now she really fucking hates him. 

_Click._ A lamp. _Crash._ A drawer. And a lot of _bang, bang, bang._

She took a step back, looking at the damage. A single tear trickled down her face. Even the bat was almost broken, showing how much he really broke her. Every single time she gave her all, the more he held back. And all the evidence was right there in the unit. He always told her if she wanted to be the king, she had to kill the king. But did she really? Was he even the king? Or was it inside of her all along— after all, she was the boss bitch. 

All of a sudden Beth felt something behind her, like someone was there. She brushed it off, telling herself that it was just because she was tired. There was no one there. She lifted the baseball bat, that was almost in shambles, once again. She wasn’t sure how much she would destroy, but she knew that he really broke her heart. 

“Hey mama,” Beth heard, and it rang through her ears. You could hear a pin drop from a mile away, probably even a couple miles away. She lowered the bat, her brain reminding herself to take a breath. _It’s not him, it can’t be. I shot him— three times. It’s not him._

Beth slowly turned around, still not fully believing that it was him. She wanted it to be all in her head, like it was all a bad dream and she was seconds away from waking up. She looked up to see him standing there, which proved that it wasn’t all in her head. It felt like an eternity that they just stood there looking at each other, blankly. 

“No,” Beth softly muttered as she backed up into the wall of the unit. Her face turned flush, her legs getting weak. She couldn’t breathe as her back hit the wall, and she slid down to the ground, the bat dropping instantly. She tried pinching herself in the arm, still convinced it was a nightmare. _It’s a dream, it’s not real. Come on, Beth. Wake up. Snap out of it, he’s not really there. It’s a ghost, you’re hallucinating._

But unfortunately for her, she wasn’t hallucinating. It was real. And the last thing Beth remembered seeing was a smirk growing on Rio’s face, as she blacked out. 

**Author's Note:**

> wow. honestly i cant believe that i’m saying that this actually came out better than i expected. let me know if you guys want a part two, because i feel like i can’t just leave it where it is. hmm👀


End file.
